Super Smash Brothers and the Holy Grail
by Burn-dog
Summary: Join the Smashers as they try to make it through the various scenes of one of the greatest movies of all time! Smashers take roles of the various things in the movie!
1. How it all starts, magically!

Super Smash Brothers and the Holy Grail

by: Bernie Rohlik

Disclaimer: I dont own any Nintendo characters, or anything monty phython...yet!

It was a boring night for the smashers. The day had been fairly exciting, especially when Yoshi got his tounge caught in the

toaster. Even worse of had been the fact that Captain Falcon had, stupidly, PLUGGED in the toaster while Yoshi was getting his tounge out.

"You Fuwhed!" Yoshi screamed loudly chasing C.Falcon down a corridor of the huge SSB mansion.

"I JUST WANTED TOAST!" He screamed back while getting hit by yoshi-eggs

Suddenly, Mewtwo appeared out of a purple fog. He used his telekenesis to lift up C.Falcon and Yoshi.

"Hey idiots" Mewtwo said calmly, "Ganondorf got to choose the movie tonight and you guys are holding us up."

Yoshi and C.Falcon groaned together. They hated movie night, which kept them from doing funner stuff, like picking up chicks, or even better, smoking weed.

But it was even worse tonight, because of Ganondorf. He ALWAYS chose the same movie, over and over again, and since he was the biggest guy, except for Bowser, who was just a wussy, everybody did as he asked.

"Ill die if i have to watch Monty Phyton another time..." C.Falcon said. " That might happen if you dont do what he says."

Mewtwo muttered.

Yoshi sniggered. Everybody knew that all the villian characters followed Ganondorf without much thought.

As if he read Yoshi's mind, Mewtwo mind-floated yoshi near his face. " And Ganondorf doesnt have to do it by himself..."

Mewtwo then mind-threw Yoshi to a wall, and dropped C.Falcon from the air. Mewtwo laughed and teleported away.

"Asshole..." Yoshi thought as he got himself on his feet. "C'mon, we better get there and get it over with..." C.Falcon said half-heartedly. They made themselves walk torwards the Group room.

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The rest of the Smashers were waiting and hanging out in the Group room. Luigi was bitching to Mario---as usual...

'Listen Mario!" the Smasher said heatedly.

" The only reason they like you is because your fat!"

"the kids dont like me cuz of my suit."

" Ever since my visectomy, i havent been quite the same"

" You always stole the last of the pasta! one day Mario, ill get a role and youll be shinning my shoes!

Mario was annoyed at all this so desided to leave his brother to his endless rants. Link, Marth, and Roy were practicing their

swordmanship, while Donkey Kong and Ness were hitting on Zelda. "Listen toots, its either me, or the big monkey with the

tie..i think you can problably tell which is sexier..." Ness said, perfectly sure of himself. After all, he had gotten Jigglypuff

to bed, coud'nt he get Zelda? Ness thought. I mean, sure, everybody had laughed at him, but, getting laid was getting laid

right? " Listen you little bastard, anyone who calls me "toots' is an automatic NO, Plus I dont date dudes that fuck little puff

balls!" Zelda yelled. Ness was so shocked he let her walk away holding the happy monkeys hand.

Mewtwo appeared in his signiture purple fog and told Ganondorf about Yoshi and C.Falcon.

"Everybody!" Ganondorf said in his Boss-man voice " Im about to start the movie, so everybody shut up or i will shoot black magic at you and it hurts."

Zelda has PMS, so when she saw mr. kidnap-her-every-other-tuesday giving orders she lost it.

"Ganondorf, go and get a better wig!" She screamed. " Because of you dont, youre gonna have to put up with looking like one of the Jackson-five!

Suddenly, as if summoned, the entire table of judges from american idol appeared.

" Hi! Im Ryan Seacrest, and this is American idol!" Ryan said proudly. The smashers booed Ryan and threw tomatoes at him. Ryan kept smiling, shruged, and skiped off to wherever.

" Well, Id have to say that performance from Princess Zelda was rather refreshing! but you were off-key, but nice recovery in making fun of his hair." Simon(the one who you all know and love) said.(haha its like the game i used to play i always lost!)

"nah,dog, i,dog,didnt like it cuz,dog, she,dog, made fun, dog , of the jackson, dog, five. dog,dog,dog. woof." Randy said next.

" I like rainbows! im so up to my eyes in drugs that I cant even hear you! so ill give you an A!' Paula said next.

Ganondorf was so angry he, as fast as a monkey can wipe his ass, threw dark magic at the American Idol gang.

"I AM THE LORD OF THE DARKNESS, DO NOT USE IT ON ME!" Simon said as he was blown up.

"DOG, THATS LAME, DOG, CUZ IT IS! DOG! woof." Randy screamed as he melted.

"JOHN MADDEN FOR PRESIDENT!" Paula dissapered.

That only left...RYAN!

Ryan hid under the judges table, and popped out his mirror to check his hair.

Ganondorf, eyes red from rage, blasted away the table with a blast of dark magic, and picked up Ryan.

"Spare me! I have tons of Hair products!" Ryan screamed.

Zelda, Peach and Samus screamed as Ganondorf threw Ryan out the window.

And now, Ganondorf thought, to his last target. He turned to Zelda and shot a powerful antimatter charge that messed around with the DNA of any object. He had done it once to mario, who had trouble since he had to piss out of his nose for 2 weeks.

He threw it, but Zelda, knowing some great spells, deflected it torwars the most inportant thing in this room.

No, not the Magazine of Sports Ilustrated: Swimsuit edition.

The TV

With a scream from all the smashers, they saw as the antimatter reflected from Zelda and hit the TV.

The TV was a big screen and was playing The holy grail at the moment. When the antimatter hit the screen, it caused it to blow up and open a portal into the movie.

They were all suddenly surrounded by a hude wind that pushed them torwards the screen, but most hung on to something.

But then the wind got more powerful so the light smashers went into the portal. They all shouted their names, but it was no use. The wind started to pull even the furniture into it so most of them lost grip and plunged in. Ganondorf was last, being the strongest, and hung on until he could feel his bones crackle from pressure. He let go into the vortex, screaming.

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They all fell, a freefall through a purple hole going down. They all screamed. Link was trying to clear his mind and think.

"Everybody, stay together!" He shouted. They tried but even this wind was stronger than the smashers. Suddenly Bowser dissapered with a puff, much like mewtwo's. Then Ness, until he was the only one left. Then he heard a voice saying "Ahh! King Arthur!" and it laughed at him coldly until he dissapared.

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He was falling again. He landed in a painful thud unto a grassy plain, reminding him of Hyrule. He stood up and saw he was wearing a silly hat-like crown, and saw his tunic was replaced with a suit with mail and a crest in the middle of his chest with a Lion insignia. He looked around to see himself in a plain with lots of fog all round. Suddenly he heard a scream and saw Yoshi land a few yeards away from him. He sprited to him and helped him up. He was dressed with less quality clothes and was carrying alot of stuff with him on his back. He also had a flag with the same sign as his shirt. He suddenly gasped and showed Link his hands. Each had half a coconut and looked like they were supposed to be banged against each other...

"No fukin way!' Yoshi screamed.

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Like it? Tell me in a review! as the story goes on youll find out with characters becamse what in the movie! Reviews make it possible people! till next time!


	2. Swallows and Coconuts, Oh my!

Chapter:2

Link: "Well, we might as well scout the area for signs of danger."

Yoshi:"Yeah, good idea, dumbass!

They desided to walk torwards the big castle they saw was a few miles away. They walked on talking.

"Link, how do you get girls to like you?" Yoshi asked in a little girl's voice. "Well, It helps to go for girls your own species, unlike

Bowser..." Link answered.

Link and Yoshi laughed. It was well known that Bowser had a crush on Peach and Zelda.

" Actually, I think he'd go into bed with ANY hot princess!" Link said jokingly.

" Dude, remember that time he got drunk and hit on Pichu?" Yoshi asked.

Link shuddered. Pichu and Bowser had woken up the next morning screaming, and Pichu had to ride around in a wheelchair for weeks.

They still havent spoken to each other.

Link was thinking about that when he heard a voice yell "Halt!"

" Who's there?" Link yelled back.

"Who goes there?" the guard yelled back.

" It's me, Link, The Hero Of Time!" Link said proudly.

" Who's the other one?" the strange guard asked.

Link realized that they were living through the movie so desided to have some fun.

" This is my servant, Patsy-Yoshi!" Link yelled.

Link felt the dirty look Yoshi gave him. He could also hear Yoshi muttering stuff under his breath.

" Asshole, I'll shove the coconuts up your ass..." Yoshi threatened.

" Did you ride here?" the guard asked suspiciously.

" Yes, we require some assis-

" No your not, I dont see any horses" the guard interupted.

" It does'nt matt--

" You got two coconuts and you're banging them together!" the guard yelled.

" No, were not! Could you just give us some help? Link asked despiretly.

" Where did you get the coconuts?" the crazy guard asked them, completely ignoring Link.

" I dont know, we just found them!" Link yelled back.

" Wha-? In Mersia? The coconuts tropical!" the guard yelled obnoxiously.

Yoshi (or Patsy-Yoshi, you bastards...) saw that Link was red in the face and was getting his bow out and fitting an arrow in the bow...

" Look, Its not a matter of where he GRIPS it!" the guard continued. " Its a matter of weight rations! A five ounce bird could not carry a

one pound coconut!"

Link yelled at the top of his voice " YOU STUPID GUARD, I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A BIRD!" Link got ready to let loose

the arrow, when Yoshi came and wrestled it out of his hands.

" It could be carried by an african swallow..." another voice said.

" Kill! Kill!" Link said as he got the Master Sword out.

Suddenly, the Fog cleared up a bit and Yoshi saw a village.

" Come on Link, more people!" Yoshi said.

Yoshi dragged Link away as the two guard discussed birds and coconuts...

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Hope you like this chapter! i write chapters as fast as i get reviews! i dont wanna waste my time writing a story no one likes!

Beware, because next week Link and Yoshi meet One of the Smashers, as DENNIS!

cya!


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